Why Dean & Matty's soap box you may ask! 

We have been running this site for a few years now & it has given us a very good insight into the whole scene that many others would not see. Because of that we have formed a few opinions on some matters we feel strongly about and decided to set this page up so we could air some of those opinions with you. We know that some of the things we print on here, not all of you will agree with but we hope it will help some of you see the bigger picture of the whole lifestyle.

If you ask 10 different people what the term hardened swingers means you will probably get 10 different answers. We see it all the time on peoples profiles "We are not hardened swingers". Please we would love to know what is a hardened swinger? We ourselves are branded as hardened swingers by many people because we run this web site so does helping people meet other people make you a hardened swinger? We know a few people that have been in this lifestyle for a number of years but only play a few times a year but because they have been in the scene for a while they are classed as hardened swingers, so if they play 6 times in 2 years & a new couple play 6 times in 6 months who is calling who a hardened swinger?

Terms like hardened swinger only help divide this lifestyle, remember we are all supposed to be Open Minded Adults so why is it that so many people within the lifestyle have to put others into tight little boxes. Come on people lets start to stand together as one rather than categorising the people within this lifestyle. It should be live and let live as enough people outside the scene are already throwing rocks at us.

One of the things we have seen more & more of over recent months is people being called either Ageist, Sizist or Racist because they have turned somebody down.

Even we have been called sizist because we prefer slimmer couples to play with. It's all down to sexual taste & not an ist at all. More people will turn you down than will say "Yes Please", so if you can not take a no thank you without taking it personally maybe you should look at your motives for swinging.

We are all different & we all have different tastes that's what makes the whole scene work. We should all be thankful that we like different things or it could be very boring.

Some woman like big cock some don't, some men like big girls some don't so what! Just because someone does not like to sleep with larger people that does not mean they can not like each other as friends. Lets start to respect each others tastes & opinions & enjoy sharing each others experiences & common understanding.

This is also a term we feel is banded about far to loosely. We have even been called time wasters because after chatting to a couple on the phone we felt we did not click & took it no further. It did make us laugh.

We know that there are people out there that are complete tossers & are only out to wind people up. But we also know that there are couples out there that are at a very early stage on entering the lifestyle & do lose their bottle when it comes to meeting people.

We met a couple recently that admitted that they used to use the chat room & every time they got to the point where another couple tried to arrange a meeting they would make an excuse and leave the room. It scared the hell out of them but they also wanted to follow it through. Well that couple are now in the scene & having a whale of a time.

Another reason some people are called time wasters is because they don't know how to say No Thank you & just ignore a reply. We agree this is bloody annoying but we can understand why it happens. If you are one of the people that find it hard to turn people down it may help to understand that this lifestyle is more about rejection that it is about acceptance. What we mean by that is more people will say no to you than will say yes. So there is nothing wrong with saying "sorry you do not match what we are looking for but we wish you good luck in your search"

Lot's of profiles on this site only have cock or genital photo's on their profile. We personally would rather see a full length body photo of someone. The amazing thing is most of the people we have spoken to have agreed with us about this point, yet still more profiles are added with just a genital photo.

Very few people are only interested in genitals & most are more interested in physique & personality. You don't even have to show your face on a profile, lets put it this way if all you saw was an exhaust of a car would you buy it???

To all you single guys that only post a photo of your cock, do you really think that a woman is going to see your knob photo & go "Wow". We don't think so!

Why do so many couples profiles, only have a photo with the lady on it? When we look at the profiles, the first thing Matty will say is "she looks nice but where is he?" Surely a profile has to appeal to both partners in a couple & should therefore have a photo of both people advertising.

Everyone moans about time wasters but surely if you don't put a photo of both of you, this is only wasting time because the first thing you will be asked for is the other persons photo.

Firstly guys don't take this as another knock to single males, read this as a what not to do & it may help.

As a couple there are a number of things single males do in the chat room that really cheeses us off.

• Moan how hard it is to be a single male.

• Straight into sex talk or ASL (age, sex, location)

Why do so many people have to write on their profile "We enjoy a good standard of living" ?

Surely you should be interested in someone because you find them either physically or mentally attractive & not because of the size of their house or bank account.

We have held parties where you can find all walks of life & people from very high positions to someone unfortunately having to claim benefits. This lifestyle is one of the great levellers & lets all start to celebrate what we all have in common & not the things that hold us apart.