Firstly - don't pump her for information - a woman has to consider her own safety and may have good reasons for not wanting to discuss whereabouts exactly she lives, what she does for a living etc. the fact that she has agreed to meet you and has turned up and is being friendly and is considering sleeping with you should be enough - if she says she doesn't want to discuss certain things, don't make her feel bad about this, respect it.

Secondly - don't judge. Nobody can understand someone's situation exactly and it is not for them to make assumptions. I am honest with people beforehand about my situation but the last guy I met despite knowing this before we met gave me a really hard time about it, saying he thought I was on the road to ruin etc, and trying to make me feel bad about the whole situation and asking very personal questions about my relationship with my husband. Nobody needs this and it is not helpful or respectful of the other person to decide to sit in moral judgement. They shouldn't be using the site for starters in my eyes!

Thirdly - a bit of appreciation for the lady is helpful. I am not expecting grovelling and declarations of undying love, but I feel it is reasonable to expect a few compliments and a bit of friendly banter if a man is expecting to have sex with you, to put you at your ease. I have generally have had positive experiences of this but it seems to be the guys with no experience of meeting people this way who act arrogant and as if you are some slag they are doing a favour. On the contrary, it is the women who are doing the guys a favour - there are far less of us on the market than you after all!

If a woman ends up staying the night then an offer of a towel, a shower, cup of coffee and general pleasantries go a long way to making her feel she has not just made a huge mistake.

Hope you don't mind my putting these thoughts down on paper, but a basic bit of respect and a few social niceties go a long way.

thanks

Sharla

xxx